Grocery Shopping

The Grocery Store is a terrifying place. There is only one thing, and one thing only, that consistently gets me through my weekly grocery shopping trip. The Holy Grail of anxious organization: The List. I love lists. No, I am a maniac about lists. Nay. I may be dependent upon lists, much like a vital organ. Whenever I feel overwhelmed about something, I make a list to soothe myself. God forbid I ever face a problem I cannot reduce to list form. But I digress.

The reason that grocery stores terrify me isn't because I am culinarily inept, it is because there is so much damn stuff in there. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling, end caps, freezers, refrigerators, produce carts, random cardboard displays...so much stuff. I am a good cook. I'm so good I make up my own recipes, but grocery stores just...overwhelm me. Sans list I'm the girl that goes in and buys 3 lbs of lemons and a box of off brand cereal. In short, I need a plan or, to make me sound less (or more?) lame, a weapon. Enter sublimation of chronic list mania. Here is a real live example of one of my grocery lists:

Meat/Protein

Pork tenderloin

Ham deli meat

Steak

Vegetable/Fruit

Lettuce

Cucumber

Mushrooms

Carrots

Dried apricots

Tomato

Navel oranges

Apples- McIntosh

Bananas

Green beans
Staples

Whole wheat flour

Barley

Olive oil

Balsamic

Peanut butter

Ingredients

Asiago cheese

Ricotta cheese

Whole wheat wraps

Blue cheese

Whole milk yogurt 

That's right, nerds, it's broken down into categories. Try it sometime, and you may just think I'm a genius. Because with this little baby all my cares disappear; because I have focus I can wander, not aimlessly, but at my leisure. Free at last to casually browse the foreign products aisle and gourmet jellies. True I still over buy citrus and forget household items like soap and toilet paper, but that is because items on this list correspond to a preformed dinner menu and who ever heard of soap soufflé? I can't be trifled with things like bread. "So what if I forget something?" I cackle, clutching my list to my breast, "I once abandoned a cart full of goods down one of these very aisles to run home to use the bathroom; and it was still here upon my return! MUHAHAHAHA!" OK, so I've never openly cackled in the grocery store but the bathroom story is true...I mean, THAT'S how close the grocery store is to my apartment. So, really it isn't a tragedy if I forget something - just a failure. In short, much like wars and  French dance clubs, grocery shopping is not to be entered into under the age of 18 or without a plan.

Read Abbigail's musings on Grocery Shopping HERE!!! NOT TO BE MISSED!!!

The LOWDOWN on the SHOWDOWN

Tomorrow,10 am EST, unto you a blog feature will be born.

Starting tomorrow and every week after that Jayme, here after named The Topic Master, will administer to Abbigail and myself a topic. We will then simultaneously post a blog on said topic. All you have to do is read my blog, then hers or visa versa. And leave comments. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY!

See you tomorrow when I will discourse on: Grocery Shopping.

Cardigans, Bangs, and 'The Weekend Dress'

These are a few of my adult safety blankets.

Cardigans
Cardigans are the cross eyed shelter puppies of my shopping experience. I just can't say no. Their buttons twinkling, giving me snugly arms, and there is something in the way they slouch on their hangers that I know we will love each other forever and ever. And we do, we do because any time I feel a little meh about going out or, indeed, going to work I pull on a trusty cardigan and remember it will be ok.

Bangs
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my hair. I then look in the mirror to determine what kind of day I'm going to have. If my bangs are winged out 8 ways to Sunday, it's pretty much going to be like every other day. BUT - if they are lying straight, smooth and are cradling my forehead like it's a precious babe, well then, THEN I'm going to have an awesome day.

'The Weekend Dress'
You know what gets me pumped up about a weekend? 48 hours of free time? NUUHH-OOOOO!! No, no, no. It's wearing The Weekend Dress! The Weekend Dress is gray cotton skinny strap dress from J.Crew and is so comfortable I want to wear it everyday. And I totally did when I first got it, but have now decided to designate it to a weekend uniform. The Weekend Dress shops with me, cooks and cleans with me, naps with me, and occasionally takes me out for a drink afterward. Incidentally, The Weekend Dress goes great with cardigans.

I hit a hole in one...it's pretty much down hill from here

There is hardly anyone in the office today and the humidity has made my bangs do something that might be described as adorable on an 8 year old, but makes me look like I don't own a brush. So! How about a post?

This week has been strange! No house projects! No impending trips to the suburbs or elsewhere! Monday night found the two of us in Wrigleyville (generally a BARF statement) having a beer at a bar with a fantastic beer list when a movie that could be described as both "Brazilian" and "Adult" was broadcast for the entire bar. It was a unique situation.

I would like to mention that I did, in fact, hit a hole in one this past Saturday, thus solidifying my seat in the house of awesome. I've been riding on that feeling all week.

I started my morning, as I start so many mornings, with coffee and the latest antics of one Miss Meghan McBlogger. And her post inspired me to create my own of list of my interests beyond the obvious of travelling, spending time with friends and family, scrabble, etc.

-Cooking. I know this is a standard one, but I feel like I get to list it because I think I love it that much more than normal people. I'm also starting to get obsessed with entertaining. I like to refer to myself as Disciple of Martha. A Martha Steward, if you will.

-Eating frozen yogurt. I've created my own "find frozen yogurt app" by always having "frozen yogurt" typed into the search bar on maps.

-Naming future pets. Someday Beaujolais the Fresian, Rooster the Labradoodle, and myself will romp in the surf while enjoying a glorious sunset...someday. Stratocatter and Gatsby the kitties may be closer to reality than you think...

-Making lists...like this one.

-Converting my inner monologue to French. It is the only way I have to practice, ok.

-Finding people who look like Harry Potter characters...the ones in my head, not the ones in the movie.

-Fantasizing about gilded rooster products, and looking for them on etsy. No, gilded rooster, is not a brand. I just love a rooster tricked out in gold. I have one camping out on my fridge. AND I am going to put a golden rooster silhouette ON MY WEDDING INVITES. Shabby chic en francais. You'll think it is a good idea once you try my oyster/bloodymary shooters.

-Planning my wedding - see above.

-Naming my future brewery. I like naming things in general. Once during a trip Up North there were a great deal of ladybugs that went by the wayside (in the lake) and I spent the better part of a day rescuing and naming each and everyone.

-Crafting. The Holy Art of M.Stewart. As of late (late, late because I have crafted in a painfully long time) stamp carving and gliding things in glitter. Martha Stewart glitter. I have the collection. Sometimes I pull it out just to be dazzled by it.

-Singing Andrew Bird songs, "ain't that a shame" by Fats Domino, and Les Miserables.

-Practicing my Beyonce moves.

-Bathing with the window open.

-Sultry heat and blistering cold. Makes me feel...alive.

-Critizing almost everything. With Joe of course.

-Clean and well designed public restrooms.

wrap.

We've reclaimed the dining room.

....al...most....there....

TA-DONE!!

Baby's first party!

By Popular, and Somewhat Hostile, Demand:

More Apt Photos!!! Follow the link because it is too frustrating trying to post a ton of pictures on blogger!!

http://picasaweb.google.com/rosanneirene/Apt1603?feat=directlink

Enjoy!!

in case you needed another reason to think i am crazy

Now I told myself that I wasn't going to post anything until after I finished the Bayleigh tribute, but it has been in draft form since 5/20 and is still no where near to being finished. So I am going to address some other business whilst I stumble through the stages of grief.

A)Meghan McBlogger and her highly amusing and wonderfully off color blog have infiltrated my life like no written piece of work has since Harry Potter. If you know me but at all, you KNOW that this is a very, very bold statement. You can find her @ http://www.2birds1blog.com/ (please note that "off color" is an understatement, don't say I didn't warn you!). Most of my lunch breaks I can be found right here at this very desk eating my lunch and laughing, OUT LOUD, at her daily post. Sometimes when that is not enough, I back track to earlier posts. When I am not reading the blog I have been working on listing the reasons Meghan McBlogger and I would either be or not be friends (don't worry, it's coming!). Not weird enough? Ok. Confession. So when I am in the middle of reading Harry Potter (which I almost always am, WHOLE other issue) my inner monologue runs in J.K. Rowling's narrative style, English accent and all. So due to this recent obsession I now have a Meghan McBlogger commentary running amok in my head. I catch myself exclaiming-to myself- things like "uhhh Blokay!" and "Welp!" and even as I am re-reading through this crazy person confession I see the influence is coming through. The italicizing, the use of the phrase "bold statement"-I am creeping myself out. BUT I am still going to post my running list of reasons we could be friends/and reasons we probably would not be.

Reasons Meghan McBlogger and I would be friends- a working list:
(please note that I visited this blog to do some fact checking and just continued to read...I am now at home finishing this)

1) Moules Frites

2) AbFab

3) Crafting
4) Nickelback hatred

The list is actually longer, but I will have to add to it as it comes back to me. Right now I am battling a gnarly migraine. OK! On to reasons we may not get along so well. This isn't so much a list as two working theories. They are as follows:

1) Knowing myself, and knowing a wee bit of Ms. McBlogger, an endless battle of banter and clever one liners could break out. This would definitely be obnoxious, not just to those around, but-most importantly- to ourselves. There is also the second, and nearly as alarming, possibility that we would totally geek out about crafting. Have you ever been in a group of people when two people share a geeky interest and talk about it endlessly? Maybe runners?

2) City Loyalty. Capital C, Capital L. This is what Liz Lemon would call a deal breaker. Now we all know Meg Mc hearts DC. I've also read about Boston and NYC and some Euro references. I have yet to stumble across a plug for Chicago, and this irks me because Chicago is the best city. Hold the phone. I have to do a quick fact check before I get too deep into this, read 2b1b, and find out that in fact Ms. McBlogger has been to Chicago and thinks that it is simply splendid...Eh, blerg. Fact checking did not go well. She went for the weather. So obvious. Deal breaker, and that's all I'm going to say.

Item B) SPEAKING OF CHICAGO. Did you know the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup? You did! Do you work on the corner of Michigan and Wacker? You don't?? HA HA, cause I do and it is awesome. I saw that beast with my own two eyes. Da duhduh dat duhduh DAT!!

C) My to do list for June has only one thing on it...well it has a lot of things but this is the only one amusing enough to share: Hang out by the harbor and make friends with boat owners. Accept all invitations to go boating.

I can't remember any of the other items on my agenda due to this heinous migraine so I'll end this post here.

(9.02.10,  You know I am re-reading the reasons Meg Mc and I might not be friends, and I may have been unfair - I'll just have to blame the migraine. What if she never has been to Chicago? What a jerk. AND if a banter battle breaks - what do I care? I'm having a good time, and it tends to chase all the squares away. So I guess I've learned not to blog whislt compromised...)